The Age Issue
By Sekai Mulwanda

With age comes wisdom, what they really mean is that with age comes a lot of embarrassing experiences, which obviously you’re never going to wish to repeat in a million years. That’s the wisdom.

Age is funny. The ironic thing is, I can bet that when we were younger, nearly all of us with a few exceptions — I’m talking to you Peter Pan — wanted to grow up because it seemed exciting. All the things you got to do, like have money, drive cars,  fly an airplane, wear make-up, cross the road on your own, stay at your mates houses, stay out late… it was as if there was endless opportunities to be met, as you grew taller.

The thing we didn’t know… which we are learning now, is in my opinion, something our parents should have made slightly clearer, is that every time we blew out those candles and each new line that appeared on the measuring wall, did not automatically insure that a flashy car would be waiting for you outside, even if you were a whole 10 yrs of age.

As we grow older, the tooth fairy doesn’t become the age fairy, just like she did when your tooth fell out. Trust me, she doesn’t do that when puberty hits. Imagine, young life being so easy! I mean, who even came up with that idea, the more your teeth fell out, the more pounds you’d found under your pillow. It was compensation for the traumatic experience involved in losing your teeth, even though you thoroughly enjoyed those hours a day scoffing down those bags of sweets, with no-one putting a gun to your head. Its genius!

However, as you get older, when your teeth fall out, they’re not growing back and the money and the teeth get replaced with dentures and the bill…well that’s is down to you. My point is we’ve just always been in a rush to grow older, and I say this whole aging thing is totally overrated. There is such a hysteria about age, like the whole rites of passage, lessons to be learned that you’ll only find out with age, that age is dictating our lives and telling us what we can and can not do.

Obviously, we’re not stupid, when your were a toddler you couldn’t cross the road on your own or drink alcohol, because that would be illegal, but why I ask? Hang on, before I get abuse from disgusted parents, I’m kidding, that would be very illegal, but also very weird to see. Formula replaced by Smirnoff!

Those were an impossibility, the truth of the matter is you just don’t have the knowledge to cross the road and alcohol isn’t a big thing when you’re a baby, so yes, I stand corrected, these are things you’ll only learn about with age.

So, why when you’re say 40, does there come restrictions? For instance, why do young people cringe in embarrassment when they see a bunch of older men or a group of older women bumping down in a club to A-kon? It’s like when you were younger you wanted to be older for the things you were going to be able to do, but then when you’re older, you want to be younger to do the things you’re not supposed to do. AND you wonder why we have mid life crises.

What age am I, you wonder? I am 20 years old, yes I’ll give you a minute to burst into laughter and roll your eyes, but that’s the thing, all the middle aged people thought they had it bad when they hit 40. Well, thank you very much because now we’re all scared to even hit 20.

So picture this, you’re walking around the park when you overhear voices. You smile as you listen, as they reminisce about tales of the past, and you imagine two old men content at their life’s peak. And so they should be you think, as you expect them to be about 80, but as you turn the corner, your mind has to subtract, as their suspected age has dropped by lets say 60 years, and instead of the adorable old men, there sits two spotty teenagers.

I mean what is this world coming to? They say you’re only the age you feel, right? So, let’s say we didn’t have ages, we just lived forever… and ever. Unrealistic, I know, so let’s say we just aged, but there was no numbers, because the numbers are the problem. You get, oh the big 40, and what’s big about being 40? Why cant it be the small 40 or just older?

Another point to consider, is what our society shows today with the large percentage of teenage parents, is that there isn’t a prerequisite age to be a mum or dad, because there are mums who are 14. I’m not approving or disapproving of the issue, that’s not why I’ve mentioned it, but it does add to the point, if there were not ages, there wouldn’t be comments such as, “she’s only 16, she cant be a mum, a mum’s a mum.”

So I’m going to wrap this rant up and leave you with a few words of ‘wisdom.‘ Stop reminiscing, because every time you reminisce, you think those were the good ol’ days, and then you compare them with now. Yes, they were good, being chased by the police, drinking on the street, smooching whoever you wanted, the house parties, bladebladebla, but because those things happened when you were younger, you think you wont have them again.

Well, if you stopped spending hours talking about the past, maybe you’d have time for more fun in the future. Life doesn’t start at forty, that’s a lie, life starts when you kick it into gear, whenever you want. Not only that, but you can still get chased by the police at 30. You might not be able to run as fast, but that makes it more exciting. If you get caught, you get a lift home, and hey those winos you see sitting on the bench in the street, they’re about 50 or so, and if they can do it, so can you!!

Image Credit: Harper’s Bazaar

Whispers speak louder than words, sound is better than silence, beautiful art is clumsy and fashion is music to my ears. Words by Sekai Mulwanda, 20, aspiring fashion columnist and hungry!!